A man at the bar told me something that really stuck with me. When you find someone that makes you laugh like a best friend, treats you nice and you cant keep your eyes off of them, that’s your soulmate.
That made me want to write a little something about love.
Love is washing the dishes, fixing their car and cleaning up their messes, and making a home-cooked meal. It’s keeping in mind to take them out on a romantic date. The little compliments that come along. The flowers that you receive when the going gets tough and you need a pick me up. The well thoughtful and sentimental gifts.
It’s hanging on to every word you mutter, interested in listening and being engaged in every conversation, the deep talks and the hard talks. It’s being able to tell them anything and everything without fear of judgement. It is two people inspiring each other to live, as Hayao Miyazaki said.
It’s knowing someone inside and out, their darkest secrets. Seeing the best in them despite it all. Being utterly mesmerized with them no matter how often you see them, because of the intricacies of their being. It is seeing their flaws, and loving those too. On occasion, a little habit can take you aback but you are infatuated regardless. Those little habits that would annoy some to no end, instead make you love them deeper for having the courage to show you their vulnerabilities and authenticity.
It is knowing their plans and their wants and desires. Their interests, and their passions. Their future goals and values. It’s having seen them in their darkest moments and loving them unconditionally. It’s believing in them. Knowing they can achieve anything they put their minds to. It’s not knowing they can improve, but seeing it in their every behavior.
Love is freedom. It is knowing that wherever you go, they will be there waiting for you when you come back. It is encouraging their independence so they can do the work of becoming the best version of themselves (which can only be done alone.) Knowing that they can be trusted wherever they go. it is not control or possession, which is the objectifying of said person. It is knowing the sentiment and inherent individuality each person possesses and encouraging that. Because we as people will always be stuck with ourselves. It is relinquishing worry and fostering trust. Knowing that betraying you is the furthest thing from their mind, but loving you unconditionally is ever present.
Love and care is respect, knowing that they will never do anything to reflect badly upon you. Love is being proud of the person you are with.
Love is when you see them in pain and their pain becomes your own. An overwhelming empathy and connection that translates to telepathy and “jinxes.” It’s when the very thought of them hurting makes you stop, take a step back and do anything within your power to prevent that.
Love is not toxicity, it is not inherently unhealthy. Through lack of self awareness one can be toxic, but when made aware that is the first and focused thing you work on incessantly, because your priority is being the best and healthiest for yourself and your partner. Love is self-love. It is a conduit. Love is pure and well-intentioned. It is self-reflection and self-development. Love is a mirror.
Being in love is even if you parted ways, you would still love them. Even if they did nothing for you, you would still love them. Even if you haven’t seen them for years, you would still love them. Love is eternal. It is selfless. It is duality and takes effort to cultivate.
This, this is love.
“I use to think love wasn’t real. Now I think life isn’t real without it.” —Comet
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