"The One" doesn't have to be a fairytale fable born by the thoughts of a hopeless romantic. It can be the one who knows you inside and out and still loves you relentlessly. It can be the one you've seen develop immensely in the years that you have known each other, or the person who reveals to you the many mysteries of your being.
These are some questions to ask yourself if you believe your partner could be "The One"
Can you imagine being beside your lover eternally? Floored by every fight and fixed by communication? Trudging or flourishing alongside their growth or lack thereof?
Can you imagine growing beside them, or do they stunt that growth? Would you be willing to sacrifice your development in the event that they want you to stay solely the same?
Do you care for them or do you care for each other, tenderly kissing each wound instead of causing them?
Do they continuously cause you distress? Or do they instead give you a motive to want to wake up every morning?
Do you feel like you are raising your partner?
Do you accept all of their flaws?
Do you feel you have to fix your partner? Would you want to be with them in the event that they never changed? (If not, you are loving the illusion of the person, not their whole being)
Do you gain sustenance and strength off their words, or do you always long for them to say the right ones?
Can you imagine their body and only their body?
Can you imagine marrying them, eternally devoted to healing areas of your relationship forever?
Can you imagine them persevering through the bouts where your sex life is stale, and your love has grown cold? Can you imagine their eternal loyalty, or will they always have wandering eyes?
Can you imagine your children, unequivocally exactly a half reflection of you and them? Can you imagine raising your child to end up like their parent?
If not, are you willing to compromise? Are you willing to live with your choices forever?
If you can’t envision a happy life with someone, why are you wasting time away from finding the person that truly is your soulmate? Someone that can bring an array of light to your eyes, and give you everything you’ve ever dreamed? Someone to embody a givingness, a mirror, an eternal devotion.
What and who you love is a reflection of your self love through different mediums. Every being is a lesson. You can learn otherwise hidden parts of who you are through experiencing yourself though other people. Someone you are with can reflect the worst parts or best parts of you. Someone you are with can love you in the way you want, or on the opposite end you can always lead a life unfulfilled. That would be doing yourself a disservice.
To be inherently and unapologetically yourself is the goal of love, it is the essence of love. Love is vulnerability at the core. While pain is a result of non-understanding and non-acceptance. To love is to recognize, to say “Hey, I see in you what I see in myself. And you show me what I like.” It is to grow together and to never stop growing, otherwise you would be nursing a sort of eternal stagnancy. Do you want to be the highest version of yourself? Then it is important to be with someone who works on themselves alongside you. Your partner can be an anchor holding you down or a balloon that elevates you higher and higher.
You can be with someone who you want to be like, or you can be with someone who is not who you want to be anymore.
It is a choice.
A choice we make everyday to choose ourselves.
How we paint the landscape of our lives starts with what surrounds it. The people, the responsibilities, the passions, and the rate of healing- it all affects the way we orient our lives. How our lives look shifts our perception. What kind of world do you want to live in, one where you take control, or one where you wait for life to take control for you? We are all the pioneers of our own story.
What do you imagine your storybook ending to be?
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